Picket Fences

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Mute it man

It happened when I was at my friends’ place watching “Hum Aap ke Hi Kaun” she heard the phone ring and muted the TV and went on a long hackneyed conversation, which bored me. I could neither watch the movie nor eavesdrop.Then suddenly my eyes got glued to the screen...there was this Sali ki song playing with titles. "Sister-in-law...your veil in green... is splitting my mind in two halves..." since I could hear nothing, I saw this idiot Salman Khan winking at Sali in the movie...and Sali ki nakhre tho dekho!, She was rolling her eyes with hands on her hips...and then comes moti ...Reema lagoo smiling and acting imbecile, the title goes…"you are taking my silhouette with you from my home...etc”...and the bald man Anupam kher throws a moronic smile, acts very friendly to other grotesque jell haired male species in chuddydar and Sherwani...and the title goes.” you have to respect you father-in-law if you want his inheritance...” mind u, this is a very colloquial translation from Hindi to English for this song playing in the background…. As this progressed I was amused to no end and Ms Madhuriji appears from nowhere, her back fully in view with a garish purple blouse and sadi...What do I see? She winks at Salman, arre… and Salman makes a flipflop...and almost faints...while Madhuri with her sexiest smile shoves her butt in to his face and gyrates ...and the song goes." gimme money… and take me home...”repeated twice...this was more fun than I had thought… Salman ki mother enters “moti lagoo” and tries a few difficult moves around salman and salman wakes up... dang!Madhuri and salman dance without words...his hands and legs going in circular and anticlockwise and in perpendicular motion, her eyes and face going through one mood to another like of a clown in the circus, this is hilarious; I thought why do they pay to watch these movies? Mute them man…!I decided to have some more fun and switched channels on Zee TV there was Hum dil de chuke Sanam...again Salman and Aish…This time Salman was farting through out the movie but god forbid I didn’t get to hear any of it…and …I switched to “Hum aap ke hain kaun”…and the translated title was “ what are you to me?”And Madhuriji was sowing wild oats in brown chania choli…Salman the idiot was asking her...”why aren’t you in my heart? So what are you to me’?She was the personified feline cat…purring at him softly and enticing him with her belly shake...she said “ what am I to you? Why do you ask?” her eyes slightly slanted to see if there were other suitors beyond him…Salman looks alarmed, he springs in to a series of hip hop steps and madhuriji as if unwillingly follows him, the subtitle goes...”what am I to you...what am I to you...?This was like the mating dance of peacocks...the male in all its glorious bright feathers dancing around the female…Madhrijji ke Jhatke …takes me to higher conciousness…I switched to Amitabh’s SilSila...Amitabh was vying for Rekha, she, with her large kohled eyes was staring intently in to his eyes...and the subtitle goes.” I saw a dream in your eyes...O...what confusion. “I was by then giggling and off the sofa and on the floor. My friend thought I had completely lost my brain...she kept the phone down immediately and came to ask me as to what was the matter with me…and …on the screen Amitabh is walking slowly in to the Tulip garden with Rekha in tow...and the song goes.” where do I seek thee in the garden of Eden...you the forbidden fruit…” I turned to my friend and she was promptly rolling on the floor. Dostho.... next time Mute your TV while watching Hindi movies…u never know. *Wink


At 1:59 PM, Blogger MotoRama said...

ROFL!You should try watching Devdas in English. They had released a 2-dvd version with one of them completely in English due to Oscar contention.One of the most tragic love story becomes the most hilarious one of the century!

At 7:10 PM, Blogger Bringabrahma said...

mmm..okie lemme see if i canget hold of it
thanks for passing by.


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